Term 4 Recount

Kia ora

Here is the recount I wrote  for an Asttle writing test in Week 4.  Our teacher marked all our recounts and gave us our scores. Mine came out at Level  2a   which is just /below the end of year standard for Year Five. I got the highest marks for vocabulary and sentence structure and the lowest points for organisation, punctuation and spelling.

We helped each other improve them by reading each other’s recount and talking about them. We also used Revision Assistant to help edit each other’s story and Mrs B added some notes as well. Everyone in our room likes Revision Assistant because it’s easy to understand the marks/ notes that it puts on your writing and so it’s quick for us to go and do the fix-ups. We have to have practically perfect grammar, punctuation and spelling in our stories before we are allowed to publish them here. I hope someone will give me some feedback.

Ka kite ano

Paragraph Plan: 1.going to the beach 2.going swimming 3.having a feed

Start Writing Here: ‘’  Yahoo!’’ I shouted. I’m going to the beach. I woke up my Mum. “ It’s time to go to my cousin's house. ‘’ My family was there ready to go. I had my togs ready to go. I jumped into my mum’s car with my cousin and my mum drove to the beach. When we got there it took off my clothes and put my togs on and ran down the sand but I tripped and splashed my head into the water. The water was freezing cold. When my cousin brought their water guns all the cousins were scared of them. We all dived down like a dolphin. Then we made a sand castle. After 10 mins we had to go for a feed. We had bacon and chips with ribs. The bacon tasted so yum and it smelled like roast beef. The chips they were nice but the ribs were the yummiest. Then we went home. I felt happy.